Stay at home Mom

So I'm turing 30 in just about a week. I have four wonderful children under age 7 and I'm finding myself in a nutshell. I used to be outgoing and had a great social life. Since I've been married for the last 3 years, yes two of the four I married into and take care full time. I'm hoping other moms will find this and maybe give me a clue on how to re-event the wheel. I find it hard to get out alone with out having to take one of the babies along. My husband doesn't offer this up much. He works very hard for the family and I love him very much but he doesn't have a social life and doesn't really care to have one. I on the other hand would love to get out and talk, meet and socialize. I feel very lonely. A feeling I've never incontered before. My extended family doesn't offer to take our kids because there is so many of them and a babysitter is out of the question. We tried the whole babysitter last year when I talked my husband into playing softball. It was a major pain and cost us a small $$. I even got my self into a MOPS group, but again never really made any friends. Now that two of my kids are in Dance, Karate and Gym. I find myself running everywhere for them but when it's time for me like even getting my hair cut my husband always has some sort of excuse or that I need to take the kids. I've very angry with him as he doesn't understand my need to be alone. When I do get the chance I always feel so refreshed and feel more willing to do more. I've explained my feelings and for a week I maybe of made some head way but then it just goes back to the same o same o...

I guess I feel like I'm slipping away. I feel anger, and not feeling why I have to give up so much. I feel I should be able to get away, Meet some friends or even be able to have friends over. I tried to push this on New Years and My husband asked me to cancel... I did because I didn't want to start the New Year with a pissed off husband. I wanted though Our kids to have kids to play with. Since we would not be doing anything fun or going out... Gawd for bid.

How do I show my kids a social life? Besides putting them in everything possiable and running my self ragged?? If my kids are not seeing there parents socialize how can I expect our kids will?

So far my step son who is almost 5 is rude because he is shy.. He's really a sweet loving helpful smart kid but I feel because he isn't around more adults or kids other then pre-school he's going to be shy and rude to new people has he becomes and adult. As you can see I don't want this.

Getting back to myself and the need to socialize. Do I just keep playing softball? Maybe even a cooking class at the local College? Hmm, that sounds like fun... Not. For most this might be fun however I used to work in a Corp world. I worked in the game industry and loved it. This is what brought me to my husband. My passion for the game industry. We used to go snowboarding and walks in the City light. I guess as the kids get older this will turn around and we will be able to do more stuff with the kids... But how do I stop from loosing my mind in the mean time?

How do I demand my needs and or wants? To a husband who is selfish of his needs and very spendthrifty. Of course.

Stay tuned...